Poetic Therapy

This isn't the first time I've posted this poem by the poet we met in Old San Juan, Puerto Rico, but its sentiment is again very appropriate. It's what I strive for – to let go of the expectations and let things go unanswered.

When I was very sick in the hospital recovering from my transplant, I'd have whoever was with me the latest read me a poem to put me to sleep. I had several books of poetry in the room with me and I'd let them choose which to read from. It was soothing and calming and digestible at a time when weighty prose was too much. Poetry helped me to envision beautiful places or just get transported by the words and rhythm. With my mind quite overwhelmed right now, little by little sounds just about right.

Little by Little

I'm letting go little by little, but I am
It sometimes hurts. I sometimes cry.
I sometimes erase it all
And sometimes I try and I can't.
But I'm letting go. I am.
That's just the way I am.
I can't help it anymore.

My mind races.
Unlike the hare
Who had patience to compete.
I'm racing to defeat myself.
It's torture in a shell
My heart has been to hell
I'm letting go.
Little by little, but I am.
I learned that now I can.

Sometimes it's good.
Sometimes it's ssweet.
There are times too
That I never meet a standard.
Where questions flow unanswered
And it's okay in itself.
I'm taking down the shelf of expectations
Crowded by imitations
I learned that now I can.

I'm letting to. Little by little.
But I am.

-Lady Lee Andrews