Friday, November 9, 2012

Saying Goodbye

Tomorrow we fly to Los Angeles, California, to say goodbye to my friend, Steve. Comprehending and accepting his death has been extremely difficult for me. I feel that being there with others who loved him celebrating his life will be the best way to find some peace and allow myself to better let go of the anger and the pain knowing that I was able to honor him and thank him for the friendship he gave me.

Craig is coming with me in strong support, and we both want to be there for Steve’s wife, Jen, who has always been there for us from across the miles in the most difficult of times. This time is undoubtedly beyond painful for her. I am eager to learn more about Steve’s life pre-cancer and to meet the friends and family that also loved him.

Part of his day of honor will include his favorite drinks and watching the Eagle’s football game, so I'm expecting laughs and good memories amid the sad parts. They’re calling it a celebration of his life; I look forward to being able to do just that. My life was changed for the better because of him, and I want to honor his life and the path we walked together living with this disease.

I know it will be hard; I can’t help but project my own fate, but I know that it will also be cleansing and inspiring. I just have to be there. I am following my heart on this one. 


  1. I'm so sorry for your loss. I think I told you this before but I read his blog and corresponded with him via email and he really was an amazing person. I can't imagine what his wife is experiencing now. I hope you find what you are looking for and I am sure that you will honor his life in the best way. -Sarah B.

  2. You are an amazing woman to be able to find the inner strength and courage to travel and pay your respects to your friend. I hope you are surrounded by friends like yourself. I am grieving the loss of my son to HL. He was being treated by OConnor and sent to Seattle for a haplo transplant. I know that when he was struggling it was very difficult to hear of fellow hodgers passing. I can only imagine its a very difficult trip for you. Sounds like you have a wonderful husband. Thank you for your blog. I find comfort, humor and hope as I read.
    Karen C.