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| Lives come in every shape and color and that's what makes them beautiful. |
I was talking with someone in the grocery store parking lot that
I’ve never met, but who knew of my nearly four years of living with cancer, and
said he admired me because I keep going. He told me that his brother “gave up.”
The comment really irked me. Gave up? What does that even mean? Who are we to
judge other’s decisions on what treatments they do or do not want to pursue? Or
how they react to their diagnosis and choose to manage their own, very personal
body and disease?
We all have the right to set up what is a desirable way to live
our lives in the way that works best for us – with or without disease – as long
as it is respectful of those among us. Our life choices should not be dictated
by societal pressures or judged by anyone – even ourselves. We cancer patients
have enough pressure: don’t put us on pedestals or act like we’re your
project to “fix.” We’re just regular people doing what we have to do to get through
the tough times and relish the good ones. Let us choose our own path to follow.
Sure, guidance and love and support are so much appreciated, but judgment, unsolicited
questioning and force are not.
Just because you have an aunt that survived breast cancer seemingly
effortlessly does not mean that the road will necessarily be as easy for your
colleague, so don’t equate their journeys. Just because your college roommate
died of multiple myeloma doesn’t mean that others won’t live a long life of
remission. It’s just not that cut and dry.
