Top 10 Ways to Get a Taste of the Chemo Experience
From a Hodgkin's Lymphoma Survivor, age 22
10. Set down a delicious array of food before you, then eat only wood pulp for several days
9. Throw up on your lawn
8. Each week at a pre-determined time, wake up, collect some bees and let them sting you, (for that "I can't seem to get a vein" feeling, apply one of the little brutes to your arm with scotch tape)
7. Throw up on your neighbor's lawn
6. Shave off your eyebrows, take out your eyelashes (except maybe 3) then Nair the rest of your body. Don't worry, the burning is normal.
5. For that fun Ativan feeling, wander into a room and ponder all possible means of the word Amazing. Walk out of the room, repeat.
4. Hang upside down from a tree until your face is cherry red, this will help with the dizzy/flushed, red faced feeling of Adriamycin
3. Lay around feeling like you got hit by a truck
2. Attempt to drink Ensure while you are nauseated. To become nauseated, drink an Ensure.
1. Congratulations, you've finished one chemo treatment, how many more do you get to do?