Monday, February 1, 2010

Diagnosis Part Deux

The call came today. My cancer is back. Though the vast majority of cancer cells were killed off with the ABVD chemotherapy treatment, some rogue bastard cells were resistant to it and have started morphing and manifesting throughout my body.

It's a relapse of classic Hodgkin's - again a strong presence of Reed Sternberg cells. This, I suppose, in a way is reassuring because we know each other well. The treatment however is very foreign. As I digest this I'll write in more detail, but it will involve several rounds of high dose chemotherapy requiring hospitalization and an autologous stem cell transplant which will kill every cell in my body, force my marrow to make new cells, trap the fresh stem cells and re-implant those into my blood stream. In short, getting a new, hopefully cancer-free, start.

I'm not surprised. I knew deep down that this was coming as much as I tried to deny it. But now all the hypothesized scenarios are reality and that's not easy to swallow.

I'm scared. I'm apprehensive. I'm determined. I'm feeling strong. I'm feeling sad. I'm worried for my family. I'm eager. I'm in awe that this is happening so fast ... again.

15 comments:

  1. STAY STRONG Karin!!! You have such an AMAZING HEART.. u WILL beat this!!! We are all here supporting u!!!! xoxoxoxoxo

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  2. We are here, We are Team Karin, We Love You and We will get those bastard cells! Judy xoxo

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  3. Karin, We love you and know you will beat this... for good. Stay strong and if you get tired we will stay strong for you. Love Mark & Roberta :) xoxoxoxo

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  4. you CAN and you WILL be so much stronger and clear of the stupid cells--all in good time and never to appear again---Love Bev & Blake

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  5. You are not taking this trip alone Karin. It's going to be tough, but I've seen this treatment work. You have a book to publish when all is said and done and I want an autographed copy.
    We love you-
    Bill, Trish & Nick

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  6. Karin, you are amazingly strong, and so much smarter, better and more determined than those damned rogue cells. And you have a world of supporters standing with you and Craig. We love you. Hugs, Rie

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  7. Karin. we were touched by this post. In so many ways. Steve and I are thinking of you and sending our love and strength.

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  8. we are wishing you all the best as your journey continues...you are so strong and together with everyone around you...you will beat it this time!!!

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  9. You seem very calm, I think I would be punching holes in walls. Good to focus your energy where you need to. Good luck, you are strong, you will beat it back again.

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  10. Karin, We are sending you tons of Love, Hope, Strength, Courage and Prayers. We have no doubt that you can conquer this nasty disease once and for all. Love,The Gingras family

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  11. You and Craig and your families have been through too much crap - it makes me angry that you have to go through this again. But know that I am in awe of the love and courage you and Craig have shown through these ordeals. You are ever in my prayers! Be well...Lauren M.

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  12. Dude...I've passed your blog along to some of my HIV/AIDS crazy activist folks. We know this shit. And we know how to ramp things up. You've kicked my activist ass; so now I can do the same.

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  13. You are so strong inside and out and with the support of Craig and all of us behind you, you will beat this! We love you and are praying for you always. XOXO - Frankie & Steve

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  14. Karen I'm sorry ... damn cancer.

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  15. Karin,

    My thoughts and prayers are w/ you, Craig and your whole family. You are an amazingly strong and courageous woman who I know will beat this!

    Hugs and prayers,
    Erin Shanahan Kasik

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