I'm starting to get the urge to rip this IV line out of my port. It's getting old being tethered to this pole. It's certainly not as agile and stealth as I am. It's like walking around with another person that doesn't know personal boundaries. There are six wheels like spider legs and maneuvering it is like trying to maneuver a dud shopping cart that squeals and tends to the left. This is especially precarious during my hourly bathroom trips. The pole doesn't exactly fit in there with me so I have to close my room door and pull it against the outside of the bathroom door feeding the tube through a crack and I get just enough slack to reach the toilet seat. However, IV pole or no IV pole, I've been walking laps around the unit a few times a day at a good clip. Yesterday I got up to six laps holding my pole like we're walking arm in arm. This morning the speed slowed some; I am starting to feel more lethargic and I think the drug effects are starting to settle in a little.
Yesterday, my sister and parents came for much of the afternoon. It was great to see her all tanned with California sunshine. A good contrast to the dreary, dreary weather that's been outside my hospital window. The originally forecasted snow has instead been only rain and slush so I haven't seen the sun since I've been admitted. We talked and caught up and she brought me some fun West Coast trinkets that now decorate my window sill paired with a bouquet of flowers from my best friend since childhood, Kristen, who also made it by for a visit yesterday. It's a combination of the cala lilies I carried in my wedding and the Gerbera daisies she carried in hers. My parents and sis took walks with me, we played cards and watched videos. I finished Lance's book and am onto my next, so in short, I'm keeping busy.
A highlight of the day was the chance to take a shower, albeit in a communal shower. I wore flip flops. That meant I could be disconnected from my pole and it was quite, quite liberating. They kept my port accessed so that I wouldn't have to get stuck with the needle again and liberally applied Glad Cling Wrap with waterproof tape all over the area to protect the dressing from getting wet. I milked the "unhooked time" for all that it was worth and certainly did not hit the nurse call when I got out of the shower. I figured I'd just wait until they thought about coming to reconnect me to my fluids. To add to this best part of the day, when I came back to the room all fresh and clean there was my boss Lee and a co-worker Marcia there to visit with armfuls of candy treats and a dark chocolate Dove ice cream bar. It was great to visit and catch up with them. It's been almost three weeks since I started my leave of absence from work.
Last night when the chemo drugs started at about 5 I got very tired. They dripped until about 9pm and then I got the nausea wave again at 10pm or so, but again the nausea blocker they gave me worked wonders. I immediately fell asleep and didn't wake up until 6am when they came to draw blood from my port and had to disturb me to roll over. They were in three other times throughout the night to administer the post-chemo drug Mezna but I didn't even crack an eye. I was out. Luckily, I've always had an uncanny ability to fall asleep anywhere, one time even on a fur couch at a posh New York City night club with techno music blaring and people dancing all around me. There are many witnesses. I'm always the first to fall asleep at parties and am known to curl up anywhere to retire. When I'm tired, I'm tired. This sometimes handicap works in my favor here because it must be a nightmare for light sleepers with bed alarms going off and frequent announcements over the speakers throughout the day and night.
This morning I'm feel very swollen from all the fluids I've been in-taking and very dry from the air here. It's quite toasty and there's not a lot of circulation. Fresh air will be wondrous upon my release tomorrow!
Dr. Dailey has been by each morning to check on me. He reported today that my bloodwork has looked good, that my electrolytes are holding out. I'm a bit anemic, which could be causing the sloth-like feeling I'm starting to encounter. Overall, he's very pleased with my progress and has full confidence that I'll do well with the Carboplatnin I'll be getting today for the first time.
Lots to look forward to this morning and today. I already had a visit from another huge hearted co-worker, Joanne. Craig will be back this afternoon and several other friends have mentioned they'll be dropping by. I'm headed to the wellness workout now. I asked if I could be disconnected for it, but no suck luck, though I'm assured that I won't be the only one in there with an IV pole. Then my masseuse comes at 11 a.m. for an hour of bliss.
ok--so 1 week down---you're probably not feeling that great in fact probably really crappy, however, you know that you need to feel bad to get better 100% so...5 more times--your family and friends with you and Craig and you can do it---you are strong, young, and will be FINE---my friend from the delivery room in New Britain years ago had a son who was diagnosed with leukemia---she spent nights with him in intensive care---fevers etc low counts etc and he was 7 years old and soooo sick---he is now a fire fighter 27 yrs old and quite handsome I might add---again---I repeat---you will be FINE!!!! Hang in there---rest---stay away from the blog if you are tired and come back when you are up to it---Love and many prayers---Bev&Blake xoxo
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